Sometimes at night after I get the boys down I am impressed at how much I can get done in such a short period of time. This is on the RARE occasion that I have a burst of energy after 8pm. Usually I am spent. Drained. Wrung-out... And then I just want to turn to food to make it all better, but it really doesn't - it just turns to self-loathing...*But that is a totally different topic, but thankfully one that I am finally facing*...
Burst of energy. right.
It hits, but I don't know if it's a good thing, because then I want to stay up into the wee hours of the morning, getting stuff done.
A dilemma of motherhood I suppose.
I need a burst of energy tonight because I'd still like to:
finish getting the Tree (Chrismas) put away, vacuum, prepare for a meeting tomorrow, and 'put the house to bed.' I did tackle the laundry room and cleaned out the boys' drawers & closet this evening. Which is pretty monumental in an of itself. The PILES!! I did make a mental note to try to get two uses out of each of the boys' articles of clothing before washing. To at least check if something can be worn again.
Lately I have been questioning whether or not I can really handle these BOYS. They seem to be getting crazier by the day and their energy, um, hyper-ness, is never ending. I really do utter the words "how?" often. and maybe a few other things. Sometimes I think, "Am I seriously dealing with this right now? or "Is this normal!?" And sometimes I think they're going to kill each other. TWICE tonight Wyatt got decked in the head w/ a large, hard plastic train (once by each brother) -1st in the back of the head, then in the face -it got his eye pretty bad. :( (see below) And it's hard to spank them because they just laugh, (they LAUGH!?!) so I find myself yelling and that doesn't do anything except make me feel out of control and mad at myself. *a little help here.* And I'm in panic mode because Jess is going out of town for a good amount of time and I already feel like he should be coming home from a long trip & I'm at the end of my rope... I've been trying to prepare mentally, but it's been hard. It'll be okay though. It always works out. I've always just been in a better place before he leaves! Does anyone else want to give me their sob story about being a single parent 90% of the time so I don't wallow in self-pity, please?! Please?
Here's a pic of Wyatt's eye:
On a happy note - I have been taking care of myself for the last 10 days and it feels great. One of the biggest changes I've made is to CONSCIOUSLY drink at least 64oz of water a day -This comes out to 4 glassfuls (I have a certain cup). It's do-able!! And I can't believe I've been depriving myself for so long. I was bad about getting water down-or any liquids for that matter. And the crazy thing is, now that I've been drinking more water I find I am actually thirstier. (I remember this from when I ran CC in HS and was good at staying hydrated) Anyway. My skin feels AWESOME.
And I've re-discovered my down-booties. My feet are happy. And toasty. And that makes my husband happy, because then he doesn't feel my icicle toes on his legs when we go to bed.
7 comments:
Sara-
Hey its Monya Williams, I do remember those days of feeling like I could never get done what I needed, but I always remember something that eric mother told me before she died she said "when you get married and the night comes and eric comes home from work and wants to talk or cuddle on the sofa or go for a drive, JUST DO IT, YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU WILL GET THAT BACK....DONT WORRY ABOUT THE DISHES THEY WILL BE THERE WHEN YOU GET HOME" You are a great mom and this will pass, and you will wish for it back....keep up all you do and you will be blessed.
Love Monya my blog monyabonbon.blogspot.com
Oh yeah---and most of the time I was a single mom when my kids were little--Eric worked so many hours and on Sundays he was not there because of work, I thought I would die--my kids were so close in age--but I still went every week and sat in the chapel not in the back of the overflow, I wanted to teach my children to be reverent in the chapel and it seemed when I sat in the back it was just a permisssion slip to be loud and wild, I still ended up taking Blake out every week for time out, but he is 20 now goes to church every sunday and has learned to be reverent it took a lot of years but it worked ha ha good luck to you
MONYA! :)
THANK YOU.
Love the booties, Sar! I need to drink more too, water, that is. You're a great mom and don't you forget it! Boys are crazy and when you put 3 together - more crazy. It will all work out.
I totally know how you feel. Sometimes I feel that way and wonder why I'm having ANOTHER one?!?! But on the whole, where you are at now with the ages of your boys was by FAR the hardest time for me. It seemed they were all still so dependent on ME. I can't even begin to tell you how much easier it gets in the next few years. So so much easier. I remember sitting in the foyer at church with 3 kids who wouldn't go to class or nursery, and thinking to myself while holding back the tears, why am I even here? But it passed and most of the time I don't even have to take a child out during Sacrament. It's a miracle. :)
You are a FANTASTIC mom, just read your blog. You are fabUlous Sara! Loving those boys is the only thing that really matters. Who cares about the house....(this is what I try and tell myself daily).
Loves!!
I have SO many things to tell you on this topic. GO TO BED AT NIGHT! I too am tempted to stay up all night and enjoy the quiet and uninterrupted time, but that only makes the next day a huge struggle because I am exhausted and impatient. The only way to get through having a pity party when the guys are gone is SERVICE SERVICE SERVICE. I know it sounds ridiculuous. I promise it is true. It is like MAGIC! Forget yourself and go to work. when you are already overwhelmed it seems not even logical to add even more to your load, but it puts everything in perspective, and Heavenly Father carries your burdens for you. It is the only way to get through "single parenting" and remain sane. :) Husband in the military.....Four boys...need I say more? :) love ya kt
Katy- You have stated what I already know to be true -especially about service. Thanks for the reminder!!!! And for going to bed - so true -I know sleep is more important -That's why I said "A dilema of motherhood".
Jen-
Thanks -I feel the same way- "How can I want ANOTHER baby if I can barely handle (at times) what I have?" Weird, ya? Thanks for the encouragement!
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